Getting back to who I am, but different.

I worship the ground Martha Stewart organizes upon. And Bree from Desperate Housewives is my other idol (minus the whole soap opera drama). So on Tuesday I looked around my house, realized that it is now the end, very end, of January and decided that the Christmas stuff had to go.

First, I started by finally getting all of the beautiful, but very dead, flower arrangements off the top of our entertainment center. This was very, very hard. I did fine for the first two vases, but walking the second set of a vase and a basket back to the kitchen I lost it. I let myself cry for a good half an hour and then kept trucking though. As I put the last bouquet of beautiful dried and very dead tulips into the garbage bag I lost it again. I sat my butt right down on the kitchen floor and let it all out. Sometimes you just have to do that.

After that good cry was out of my system I moved on to the Christmas decorations. My brandy snifter full of blue and silver balls got emptied, cleaned and filled with red balls (Valentines day decor). I dragged tubs from the computer room and filled them with snowmen, penguins (we wish you a Merry Christmas) reindeer, stockings and tons of other things. I am just a bit obsessed with Christmas decorations.

Next, time to tackle the tree. Again, I was a bawling crying mess as I took ornaments down thinking of the conversations Jenn and I had as we decorated about how fun next Christmas would be with a 6 month old trying to pull the tree down. Refer to the first paragraph and my love of Martha and her organizational skills? I am going to really hate myself next Christmas when it comes time to put the lights, ornaments and garland back on the tree as they are all shoved not so nicely into their tubs.

I quit at this point. I cried for a bit and watched some television until Jenn came home to wipe me up and tell me "This is why I told you not to do it alone". But see, if I didn't do it, she would. I would rather not put the extra pain on her shoulders.

Yesterday I finished it. Well, the inside anyway. I took down the village and actually took the time to lovingly wrap all of the houses in their tissue and put them into their bins in an organized manner.

Then I started to find Heidi again. I cleaned in the dining room, and the kitchen. I started to feel like the Heidi I once was, happy to surprise Jenn when she got home from work with all the things I had accomplished in our home.

I got another bin and filled it with my maternity clothes and the pregnancy books. Another bin got filled with all of the early baby gifts and hand me downs we had received (after photographing them for Blueberry's scrapbook of course). I stacked all the bins in the living room so that tonight when I get home from work Jenn and I can take them to the storage unit, where I am sure I will cry again, but as a good friend reminded me yesterday "Just think one day you will have to get it all back out and that will be a wonderful day."

Let's just hope that day comes soon.