Friday, May 29, 2009

His name follows me everywhere!

You have a Picture Mail from



View Picture
Print at Retail
Reply to Sender
Reply to All

Send and receive Pictures and Videos through Picture MailSM. For more information go to
Please be aware your friends can forward your picture, video, and album share invitations to others or post the unique Web link to your share invitation on any number of sources (e.g. blogs), through which others could also gain access to your online photos. If you have private or sensitive photos you are sharing, please share them only with those you trust.
© 2009 Sprint. All rights reserved.
VeriSign's Home Page

Jenn's Job Offer

I don't want to go into too much detail, as she hasn't accepted it yet and this is a public blog.

Good things:
  • The money. Good money. More than she was making at either of the banks.
  • It seems to be a job made for her. She gets to be a trainer, a manager, and still work with customers. Jenn thrives off of working with people.
  • And she will get to do some sales. The girl is a salesperson through and through!
  • Hours. Good hours. Very few if any evenings. No Sundays.
  • It is a small, yet growing company. We are kinda pissy towards huge corporations at the moment. Especially banks!
  • The owner of this small company, and my small company are best friends. Think back to the Tony Romo incident...yep, same guys.
  • Jenn smiled. She got all happy and excited when they offered her the job.
Not so good things:
  • No domestic partner insurance. But they are looking into it for next year.
  • I am going to miss Jenn. I am so used to having her home and at my beckon call.
But those two not so good things are totally outnumbered by the many good things. They are willing to negotiate her salary based on the fact that we will have to pay for insurance for me outside of their company. And missing Jenn, well it isn't like I see her all day. I still work. And this gives me an opportunity to get my buns back in the kitchen and cook again! I love it when Jenn comes home from work to a clean house and dinner on the table (the coffee table, lest you think we actually use our dining room table for anything other than storage).

So, she will most likely be accepting this job in the very near future. There will be one less person in the unemployment line.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Lots and lots of


Do you ever have tons of stuff you want to blog about, but have no idea how to get the words to flow through your fingers? I've been avoiding my blog, and reading other people's blogs for about two weeks now in an effort to not have to talk about what I actually want to talk about. I haven't even Mingo Monday'd in two weeks. My goodness. I'd promise to get better, but I don't make promises that I am not 100% sure that I can keep. those ever popular bullets, things I am trying to get myself to talk about:
  • Jenn has been offered a job. There are sub-bullets to this, but when I get to them, I'll actually just write a whole post about it. In fact, I am going to try very hard to write about it tomorrow. Because it is 97% a very good thing.
  • I chickened out and we are not trying this cycle.
  • Poor Delaney is going to grow up someday with a bald spot on her head and when she asks why it is there, the only good answer anyone will be able to give her is "Aunt Heidi sniffed all your hair off."
  • The girls softball team is 6-0. They rock.
  • Why can't we all just get along? "We all" being people, my body parts, whatever.
  • I'm getting lost in myself again.
  • I think I need to up my Prozac. Or maybe start taking it regularly. It is pretty bad when you are so darn depressed you don't even care to take the darn pill.
  • I can't believe I just wrote darn. I've been hanging around children to long. Damn. There, I feel a bit better.
  • I filled out a form today and mailed it off asking for information about a local adoption group.
  • I wonder how long it will take Jenn and Lyz to realize what I just typed and wonder when I decided to take such a step. (they know the "thou shalt not talk about adoption for it makes Heidi feel like a quitter" rule.)
  • Jenn is going to be playing on a fast-pitch softball team this season. I am totally excited to watch her, but totally petrified that I might have to socialize.
  • I have a thousand other things which I want to write, but I just can't get them out of my head. Soon. I promise.
  • And soon, I will read all of the 7 million blogs I am behind on.
Thank you for stopping by!

Friday, May 22, 2009

I went to the animal fair***

When you don't have kids you can sometimes lose out on some of the fun activities that people with kids have an excuse to do. Which is why we so often borrow other peoples children. You know, to go to water parks...or kids museums??

We headed out to the Circus yesterday. I love me some circus. (Please don't give me a hard time about animal cruelty.) I really didn't think that it would be an issue with my head at all. But I spent a lot of time at the circus trying not to cry. There were so many adorable children looking at their parents and smiling with that thank you for bringing me here smile. I was sad. It was very sad to look at them and know that on our laps should have been an 11 month old. He should have been there smiling and watching and looking at the lights and being all excited.

Anywho...we still had a good time. Thankfully Avery wanted to sit on my lap for a little bit so I got to share some excitement with a child, just not my own.

Pictures?? I've got them :)


Penguins (aka clowns):

Guys on stilts:

Guys on motorcycles:

Kids eating cotton candy:

Kids being silly:

And people who were really only looking forward to lunch at Red Robin afterwards:

*** is a song we used to sing in Girl Scouts!!

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Just passing through the emotional tides

Seriously. I felt it all yesterday.

The Crankies: I'm only one person. I cannot do it all. I cannot make everyone happy at the same time, including myself.

The Thankfuls: Oh look...a new package in the mail...this one full of hcg drugs!!! Lori most certainly loves me.

The Fear: I hope I don't let Lori and everyone else down if we don't get pregnant, or kill yet another child.

The "oh forget it, let's just not have kids": Felt while walking through a carnival with teenagers everywhere. Teenagers. I don't want one of them. I just want the cute kid...nothing past 12 thank you very much.

The "hmm, that one looks to be about 11 months old, I wonder if that is what Blue would look like now?"s: Self explanatory.

The severely happies: Watching Avery and Delaney have fun at the carnival.

The pride: Jenn has been invited to play on a women's fast pitch softball team.

The sighs: I am so sick of being tired and tired of being sick.

The jealousies: Jenn and Lyz went for a jog last night. I wish I had the urge to do such a thing. I don't think that even if I could breathe right I wouldn't jog...just walking along behind them would be good enough for me. But it is so much more than that. I just don't have the desire to fix myself. I want that urge like Jenn and Lyz had last night. (I don't want to be pushed though either girls...I'll just get the crankies back lol)

I just felt it all. And to be honest it was quite draining. I played with Avery and Delaney while Jenn and Lyz jogged. It was fun. Only 10 minutes, so it isn't like that gave me the slightest hint at what motherhood is like. But it was really fun to juggle them. To make sure Delaney was happy while Avery and I did the "fill up the fishbowl with water and magic" dance for the goldfish she won at the fair (with Jenn's help, if I don't mention that Jenn will be sad). It was fun. I was kinda sad that Jenn and Lyz were back so quickly! But proud of them for being out there jogging!!

Anywho. I realize that this was a big old post about nothing, but I haven't posted all week so I thought that I should write something. Something is better than nothing. Ramble ramble blah blah?

Monday, May 11, 2009

Jenn's Birthday and Hershey's Chocolate World

Jenn's 34th Birthday

That is a cake made out of Long Johns. They are peanut butter and chocolate frosted doughnuts.

Avery got Jenn a SpongeBob cd...I'm not sure who was more excited about it!

We went to Shady Maple:

And much Beer Pong was played:

It was a Happy Birthday!!

Hershey's Chocolate World
Lyz's cousin Sarah came to visit. We met her last year in Florida and thought she was great fun!! So we all met up and went to Red Robin for lunch and then for a visit to Chocolate World.
My favorite part of Chocolate world is the cows...they sing such a happy little song:

We all enjoyed the Chocolate World Ride...especially the free chocolate bar at the end:

Joni, Sarah, Avery and Jenn also made some Hershey's Kisses (Delaney just enjoyed the hat):

Mingo Monday

Once upon a time there was a garden (please ignore the weeds):

One day, a pretty pink flamingo moved into the garden:

She spent her days happily watching over the plentiful radishes, the bushel of carrots, the three peas, one row of corn and a pumpkin plant. Oh, and the grass, she watched over the grass too. But she was a lonely little flamingo. She hoped and wished and dreamed of having a friend to visit in the garden. Yes, an adorable three year old and her Mommy, Daddy, sister Baam (aka grandma) and Aunties would visit too. As would a big rottweiler who often helped to fertilize the garden.

One morning she woke up and looked around the garden...and was still alone. She sighed. Then she smiled when she saw her three year old friend coming to visit the garden with her Baam. She stood still and pretty while her friends visited and then relaxed when they walked away.

To her surprise they had left something behind after they visited!!

Pink flamingo was so excited to meet Blue flamingo. They are now boyfriend and girlfriend and will live happily ever after.

The End.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Happy 34th Birthday Teapot!!

34 is my favorite number. That means that this is totally going to be your happiest year ever!! Yes, I know, you think you are wayyyy old. But I think the gray in your hair is totally sexy!

The last year with you has been wonderful. We have grown together so much. I don't care what people think of the fact that we spend most of our time locked in our bedroom eating junk food and watching tv. It is my favorite thing to do. I have 51% of your attention. (The rest of your attention is on the tv, your snacks, and the laptop. I am okay sharing with them.)

I have loved to watch you with the children in our life this year. With Avery at the beach. With Belle and the softball team. Buying Skyler golfing equipment so that you will have another person to golf with. Watching you feed Delaney all the different foods you can get your hands on. Seeing you and Austin have a conversation that leaves him smiling in the end. And watching you looking at pictures of Brenden.

I am very much looking forward to seeing what this new year brings us. And whatever it is I know that we will make the best of it.

I love you. Thank you for being the wonderful woman that you are. Thank you for supporting me. Thank you for putting up with my temper tantrums and hissy fits and breakdowns. Thank you for making me smile. Thank you for always being there and listening no matter how childish or bitchy my feelings are.

You are my little teapot, short and stout. And my sunshine.

For always and ever,

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Softball game...and a small, TTC related, panic attack.

We won our softball game again tonight!! That makes us 3-0. Tonight's game was especially awesome because every single girl hit and got on base!! It was so awesome to see their happy faces!!!! And the parents faces being so proud of their girls!

I was very proud of Belle...not only did she do an awesome job pitching, but she several good plays in the infield with catching or throwing the balls!!

To be honest though, I think Jenn did more pitching than any of the girls on either team! (If a girl gets 4 balls thrown to her, instead of walking, her coach comes out and pitches to her)

A few of our girls had to leave early, and that left us with only one outfielder. Very rarely does the ball actually get hit into the outfield, so we used a substitute...Avery!

(We sent Chris out with her just to be safe)

On to the panic. Last night I had a minor meltdown. We watched the movie The Business of Being Born. It was very interesting, didn't really didn't teach me anything that I didn't already know, but it was fun to watch! I will never have the peaceful home birth in a pool that I wanted. I'm too high risk now with the losses, and my advanced maternal age. And besides, at this point I want all the fetal monitoring I can get my hands on. But I do still want it to be somewhat peaceful

But today, in fact 10 minutes ago I had a whole new panic. All of our paperwork is in and we are ready to order our swimmers from the new sperm bank that we will be using. I got the email tonight. That means that this week we took two steps towards the TTC front. I've been trying to slowly enter my way back into the TTC world...two steps in one week is a little much for me!! (step one was receiving my wonderful package of drugs from Lori!) All will be well though.

This means that everything is a go. Sperm...check. Drugs...check. Woah. All we are waiting on now is my period...I say we have about two weeks to go before that shows up, since I'm not on drugs. We've bought our tickets, we are just waiting for the train to pull into the station!!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

I believe in Angels!!!!

Do you know what this is?:

That is 8 boxes of 900iu Follistim!! My wonderful friend and angel Lori sent them to me. You see, this isn't a regular collection of is a lucky collection of Follistim. It was waiting for her in her fridge to use when BAM she got pregnant!!

Thank you so much Lori. I will be forever indebted to you. Like I said before, I owe you my first(live)born child...but that will be what you gave me!!!

Monday, May 4, 2009

You All Rock!

Jenn's first interview went so well this morning that had her back immediately for a second!! The second interview went so well that they have scheduled her back for a third on May 14th!!

Thank you for all your good wishes, finger crossing, prayers and voodoo doll poking!

Mingo Monday

Me and Mingos





Sunday, May 3, 2009

Please do whatever it is you do & Thank you!!

Cross fingers, say prayers, send good wishes, poke voodoo dolls...whatever it is, please do it. Jenn has a job interview tomorrow for a job that we would very much like her to have. It is the perfect job for her! (and would pay good money, have great benefits for us to boot!)

And...THANK YOU!!!

I surpassed 20,000 hits sometime in the last few days!! That makes me feel so special and loved :) You all rock for visiting the blog and reading about our life!!


Friday, May 1, 2009

Softball and Snoring

Our second softball game was last night. I seriously love watching these girls improve even day to day!! I also love watching Elissa, Lyz and Jenn coach. I love watching Chris umpire. And well Avery she just makes the cutest batgirl ever!!
Jenn pitching (When the other team's pitcher throws four balls, instead of walking the girl our coaches pitch to them...usually Jenn gets this honor!):

Belle pitching:

We won again!!! Our girls rock!

After the game Belle and Avery decided to show us how to slide:

And were very dirty afterwards:

Group Photo (opps, missing Chris and Jenn):

I am sure you wonder what snoring has to do with softball right? Well my job during yesterday's game was upgraded from bookkeeper, to baby sleeper. I held Delaney in my arms while she slept. I walked with her if she fussed (and Lyz of course calmed her too). I spent a good hour holding her in my arms. She was snuggled all deep into my chest, with her blanked wrapped around her. I refused to sit down. I used the excuse that I was worried it would wake her up, but really, I just wanted to be alone with her. To feel what it is like to hold her for so long. To smell her without anyone talking or inturrupting. Well, I inturrupted myself to be honest. I was watching little girls play softball! It is very hard not to cheer when they do something great! And I couldn't cheer very loud because it would startle Delaney.

At one point I heard her snuffling. I was all concerned that my boobs were suffocating her, or her blanket was too close to her face. Nope. She was snoring. It was the sweetest little noise I have ever heard!!! I took her around to everyone to make them listen to the sweet sound. It was so beautiful.

When I handed her back to Lyz as the game was ending Lyz said "Your arms have to be killing you." Not in the least. They relished in knowing what it felt like to comfort Delaney for so long.