I have a problem, and I am willing to admit it.

I am an information junkie. I must read everything I can about some things. This has been proven to be a not so good thing after losing Blueberry.

I read about D&E's...they are used for abortions.

I read about trying to conceive post late miscarriage...seems like it's a 50/50 shot to me.

I read other blogs about their losses in the hopes that them coming out the other side okay will console me...all it does is make me cry over their stories of loss.

I read that new study that shows that caffeine causes miscarriage. Two years before I got pregnant I all but gave up caffeine, but I know I had several iced teas while pregnant. So this does nothing but cause me to place more blame on myself. (yes...I know nothing I did or didn't do caused this miscarriage...but there will be no more tea...just water, even if I have to bring my own to restaurants.)

So...I have decided to get my information from other sources. My textbooks. I'm a pretty smart girl and will openly admit that I have never EVER actually read anything my teachers have told me to read, yet still come out with almost all A's.

This morning for some reason, even though I am almost three weeks behind in all my classes, I decided to read my books. Of course I did. That's just me. So it's going to take me five times as long to do my schoolwork than ever before...but it will keep me out of Google for a bit.