Saturday, January 26, 2008

Oh the things she says

When you first meet Jenn, she comes off as a little gruff. It is her defense mechanism. She doesn't trust people easily so she'd just rather not stick her heart out there if given the choice. Underneath that gruff exterior is a heart of gold, and some of the most sensitive emotions, sometimes more sensitive than mine.

Last night we were sitting in bed and she laid down on my lap. Like so many nights before she put her hand on my belly. I put my hand on top of hers, I thought I knew what was coming. I realized she was crying so I rubbed her back and she said through the sobs "I only ever kissed your belly once." My heart broke. I tried to argue with her, I swear she did it more than once, but she could even tell me exactly where, when and why she did it. Just once. That is so unfair for her.

Later in the evening we were talking about how I do want to try again, but am scared to death. I have nightmares, Jenn has good dreams-we are yin and yang. She dreams every night about our twin girls. She told me she's okay with that, she's got her boy.

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