Saturday, May 24, 2008

I love my job....I love my job....I love my job....

I keep saying this over and over in my head. I have to keep reminding myself this weekend that I really do love my job. And honestly, I really do. People who are taking a trip, are a trip. But it always astounds me to how silly people can be. I have often asked my dear boss if there is a sign out front "We Love Crazy People" Cause we get those. I had a man come in and ask me to call AAA for him because he ran out of gas. Sure! After I am done calling them he explains that he is driving from New Jersey to New York on 2.5 gallons of fuel each time AAA stops to give him gas. Seriously?

Can I give you some hints for your next trip on how to not tick off your friendly hotel front desk clerk?

  • Do not book yourself a four day vacation, with four children under the age of 5 and have no idea what there is to do in the area. Yes, part of FHFDC's job is telling you great things to do, but when FHFDC lists off the 40 most popular ones and you still aren't happy, grrr.
  • When you call to ask for directions and FHFDC gives them to you, don't argue. FHFDC lives there, FHFDC knows where you are going. If FHFDC tells you DO NOT EXIT, don't decide you know better than FHFDC so you exit, and then promptly get lost. All FHFDC is going to do is redirect you and laugh at you after FHFDC hangs up the phone.
  • If you decide to bring your own pillows, do not use white pillowcases. If you do, and then call FHFDC to tell her you left your pillows behind, FHFDC is not going to know which one of the 7 million pillows with white pillowcases in the pile are yours.
  • If it is a holiday weekend, and you decide to be spontaneous and take a trip, do not get mad at FHFDC when she tells you that the hotel is sold out. It is Memorial Day weekend. No, gas prices didn't scare people away.
  • In addition to the previous point, when FHFDC says I'm sorry, we are sold out, don't ask the following:
    • Do you have any suites available? No, we are sold out.
    • What about any rooms with two double beds? No, we are sold out.
    • Any rooms with one king size bed? No, we are sold out.
    • Do you have any family suites? No, we are sold out.
    • we are sold out.
  • Also, before you ask FHFDC why is it so busy, please go look in a mirror and ask the person you see there. Why are you coming??
  • When it is a holiday weekend and FHFDC says we require a two night minimum stay, the conversation should end. The following are not going to get you just one night.
    • But, I only want one night.
    • Can I say I am going to stay two nights and just check out a night early?
    • I only need one night.
  • When you ask what time check in is, and FHFDC tells you that you can check-in anytime after 3pm, please don't panic if you won't be here until 4pm. It is okay, because check in is ANYTIME after 3pm. "FHFDC, what if I won't get there until 3:01pm?? Won't you cancel my room?" Is 3:01pm after 3:00pm??? Yes, therefore FHFDC isn't going to cancel your room.
  • When you ask FHFDC how close the hotel is to a certain amusement park and she answers "Right Next Door" she means it. She does not mean across the street, or down the road, or even 10 miles away. FHFDC will continue to laugh at you in her head while she explains that it is literally right next door and will take you less than two minutes to WALK to their entrance.
  • FHFDC is also willing to bet that most hotels don't dabble in false advertising on their websites. Please don't call FHFDC and say you have A question, but really mean you are going to read FHFDC the entire website word for word verifying everything on it. Yes, the hotel does have both an indoor and and outdoor pool.
That is our lesson for the day. Now, if you do decide to do all this, know that there is a FHFDC on the other side of the phone laughing their buns off at you. FHFDC may also make funny comments about you in your reservation. When you check in, whichever one of the FHFDC who checks you in will read these comments and smile extra big, because you are a moron, and that makes our day :)


vee said...

Hee! The joys of public service work.

m said...

(here via NaComLeavMo)

Did have a chuckle at this!

So sorry for all that you've endured of late, big hugs to you both.


Molly said...

OMG, hilarious. You see it all, don't you?

Anonymous said...

So how ashamed should I be for having truly learned something from this? I've never left a pillow anywhere, but will forever put colored pillow cases on any pillows that travel with me in the future!

Anonymous said...

I might be coming to Pennsylvania this summer and would love to see a real live amish person! One question for ya. If you are "sold out", would you still have a closet somewhere with a cot???? Just kidding!!!!


JamieD said...

First, I love your new page!! It is wicked awesome!!!!

Second, I really, really admire you. It takes a special person to spend any holiday weekend dealing with a bunch of yahoos and keeping a smile the entire time. However fake the smile may be. Bravo!!

Momma Mary said...

I worked at the Front Desk of the Holiday Inn in the town where I grew up. It was right by the football stadium - main tourist attraction.

O. MY. GAWSH. You're post nearly killed me. I nearly died laughing of a heart attack!!

I actually got fired because our ratings were low, so they had a "no tolerance" policy. One complaint, you're gone. I gave an old lady directions, which she DID NOT follow. Then she complained, because I wans't helpful about getting her here. :) Nice, huh?