Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Purpose Driven Anything

One of my favorite bloggers Mrs. Spit (who I found has a Facebook page, so I am starting to believe she actually exists.) posted a very interesting blog this morning. Please go read it before you continue on with reading my blog today.

I wrote a really long comment for her blog, and blogger went and ate it. Mean blogger. But I guess in a way it is good because it gave me something to contemplate and blog about myself.

Purpose Driven. I can't say that I am a very purpose driven kinda gal. I'm going to be literal here and talk about driving. I hate driving. I hate being behind the wheel. But being in the passenger seat thrills me. I love a good road trip. Yes, there is an ultimate destination in mind, so you are driving with a purpose, but the drive doesn't always have to be purposeful.

Lyz and I have often talked about the rules we won't enforce upon our children. Her big one is that she will allow her children to blow bubbles with their straw in their milk. She wasn't allowed to as a kid. Me, I will let my kids dictate our road trips. We used to vacation in northern Michigan and along the drive you would see these billboards. Mystery Spot 120 miles. Mystery Spot 90 miles...etc. I wanted to stop. We never did. If my children see their own version of the Mystery Spot, we will stop for them.

When we drive to Florida every year it is in the dark. We typically leave around 5pm and arrive at our destination around 7am. Jenn is glad we do this in the dark because it means there is less traffic and she can drive a little faster. I am glad we do it in the dark because it means that I can't be tempted by all the billboards.

Oh the billboards. One year I was sick so we ended up making the drive during daylight. The billboards were everywhere. Every five miles there was one for South of the Border. There was one every two miles for a strip club. Neither place was a real draw for me, but the billboards tempted me off my path. While I really wanted to get to Florida in a hurry, the billboards called to me "We won't take long if you stop...you'll be back on the road soon." Yet, we never stopped. What would I really want to see at a seedy strip club? Um, ewww. Even from the highway you could see it wasn't a place I would want to go. Dirty...um ew. And South of the Border, I've been there once, it wasn't for me either. Very cute and kitchy, but dirty and that isn't for me.

But all of this not driving purposely sent my head off on a tangent. The only thing I have been purposely driving for over the last five years is a baby. Yes, there have been detours that have veered me off my path. I'm on one of those distractions now. But I won't be stopped.

We will reach this destination. Right now there is no insurance coverage, and Jenn doesn't have a job, so we've stopped at a rest stop. As with my drives to Florida, I will still reach this destination. I will arrive at "You Are Here". There may be more bridges closed, or tempting billboards along the way, but we will overcome them. We will hold our child someday. Maybe the road will change and we will hold a child that we have adopted rather than created. Maybe the road will change and we will have better insurance to move forward with IVF. I don't know. I can't see that far ahead.

All I do know is that for one thing and one thing alone I am purpose driven. And no road block will stop me.


Mrs. Spit said...

yes, that's exactly what I meant.

And for what it's worth, about 6 years ago, Mr. Spit and I resolved to stop at all those historical interest places on the highway.

Maybe we should have destination based lives, and not purpose driven ones.

B said...

Loved the post Heidi, and the hope I hear in your words.

cindyhoo2 said...

I just found your blog and I can totally appreciate your thoughts today. I too tend to wander my way through life. Perhaps that is partially why this TTC thing is soooo hard. There really are no alternate routes to having a child: either you have one or you don't.

Sounds like your forced TTC break has provided you clarity.

Anonymous said...

i love this sentiment. its hard to remember this is just a path and there will be an end. sometimes it just feels like a sinkhole! :)

Rachel B said...

Very moving. I think your purpose is beautiful, and I hope your rest stop is a short one.

jenn said...


We are at a road block right now..but we are having fun and gaining strength from each other to brace for the next obstacle that comes our way...someday we will tighten our seat belts, hold on tight, and brace for the last road block..we will blast through it together like we do every time only to open our eyes and look down and see our child being held in your arms. He will look up to us and smile, and we will know that every detour, road block, and bridge we have over come was worth it..and then we must focus our love and strength on making life's road blocks easier for our child to handle.

Anonymous said...

I loved this post - it is hard but true. And its something we've come to realise recently too.

Also, I love the idea of letting your kids dictate road trip stops - it sure does suck for the kid stuck in the back otherwise lol Plus if your kids have good taste, you might get to finally see some of your own mystery spots!

tbean said...

great post....thanks

IrishNYC said...

Fantastic post, Heidi. I too will stop for the "Mystery Spots."

Anonymous said...

This might be one of my favorite posts of your. I hear so much hope and relaxation in it. I can "feel" Heidi in it... Being on this purpose for so many years I almost forget what we were like before jumping on this path. Love you


A said...

This post has a great message. There are road blocks or you stop sometimes along the way, but that doesn't mean you don't get back on the road.