Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Weather and AlAnon

Last night we went with a friend to an AlAnon meeting. (I don't want to name names as the whole point of AlAnon is the anonymity!) On the way home it started snowing blizzard style. It was amazing! We took Minne outside and within 10 minutes her footprints had already disappeared. When friend got home she called to let us know she got there safely...but they had no snow what-so-ever.

This morning we had almost a foot. I spoke to Lyz and she said she had none. Friend also said no snow there. Weird. It isn't like we live hours from each other, less than a half hour!

I love snow. And I am especially glad that it snowed this week...makes heading to Florida on Friday that much sweeter!

Back to AlAnon. I learned a lot. I learned more about myself at the AlAnon meeting that I did at the miscarriage survivors support group that we went to. I think this is because I wasn't at the AlAnon meeting for me, I was at it for someone else. I was able to listen better, to hear better.

They have a set of Slogans that they use. And several of them touched me.

"The 3 C's. I didn't Cause it, I can't Control it, and I can't Cure it." This is something I really need to take to heart. I didn't Cause Blue to die. I can't Control the fact that it happened. And I certainly can't Cure him to bring him back.

"Progress not Perfection." I very often chide myself for not being all better. Well, not all better, since that will NEVER happen, but to be to the new normal Heidi. I need to learn that as long as I am moving forward, I am moving. Moving is better than standing still. Even if I falter a few steps backwards. It is okay. Progress not Perfection is the key.

"One day at a time." Very similar to the above. I spend so much time worrying about how I'm going to feel in the future. I just need to live through the next day. If I can make it through the next day, I can work on the day after that. Don't worry about months down the road.

"It is okay to ask for help." People who know me in real life know that this is my number one fault. I cannot ask for help. I can't. I would rather suffer than have someone have to help me. It isn't that I am too proud to ask for help. I'm not proud. It is the fact that I don't want someone else to feel put out. I don't want to be the burden. It is bad enough that I feel the way I feel, I shouldn't be dragging everyone else down with me. I'm getting better at this, but maybe I should get this tattooed on my forehead so that I have to see it everyday.

They also gave out a little card that read "Just for Today..." with many things to help you just get through today. I'm going to throw that in my planner. If I am having an unusually hard day, I will read it. And if it doesn't make me feel even just a little better, I'm going to ask for help, I promise.


B said...

These words of wisdom struck me in the right way today Heidi. I'm glad you attended the meeting for your friend, but you came away having gained support for yourself as well. I like the 3 C's and I'm going to chant them as often as I need to.

Anonymous said...

"the new normal Heidi. I need to learn that as long as I am moving forward, I am moving."

I needed to hear this today! I like what you said above. I like to say that when I "fall" I want to fall forwards. Thanks.