Saturday, March 29, 2008

What might have been.

This week really started the what might have beens for me. When we first found out that we were pregnant with Blue I counted in my head how far along I would be at the end of March. I figured 27 weeks is great, I'll have a noticeable belly and all the lil ole ladies at the quilt show will love it! They always ask me "When are you and Jenn gonna have kids??" Sigh.

Last year during the quilt show I helped one of the vendors get an emergency flight home because her husband was dying and she wanted to see him before he passed. She found me on Tuesday and thanked me for my help. I told her that I would have done anything for her in that situation. She didn't make it home in time. He passed away two hours before her flight landed. I told her I was sorry and was a little teary for her. She asked me "Heidi, when are you gonna have babies." Since I was already a little teary for her, the tears just fell right out for me too. I was honest. I told her that I had a beautiful son who was born too soon in January. She held my hand. Then she went and spread the word. I shouldn't have told her. I don't think a single vendor has not come up to hug me, to give their love to Jenn and I, or threaten us not to quit. They all expect happy stories next year.

Me too.

8 comments:

tbean said...

Glad you got all that support. I hope you are back next year with your baby!

Ahuva Batya said...

I'm so sorry you had to experience that loss. I can only imagine how heartbreaking it is, but I'm glad you had support.

my cowgirl alter-ego said...

how sad, but how sweet. i looked forward to march as safety mark for me. it's all together something else, isn't it.

i second tbean. here's to next year with a baby in your arms.

love, love, love.

R said...

Hi. I just started following your journey. I am so very sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine what that must have felt like. I appreciate the total honesty you have used in your writing. I am looking forward to following your journey.

Merr said...

Oh I am sorry! I hate it when stuff like this happens.

B said...

I'm glad you have the support of those ladies. I hope you have something happy to share with them next year.

Estee said...

Hey Heidi. I just wanted to stop by today and offer some (((hugs))). I thought of you this morning and was wondering how you were. Hope you are having a happy day. :)

eggdance said...

I'm so glad that you did share that-- I have really loved all the support and hugs and stories that I have gotten pretty much anytime I have talked about my miscarriage with anyone. I think by speaking about your baby you also make room for other women to share theie losses-- and this is so important.