Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Scared to Death

Yesterday Jenn called the fertility center to tell them I got my period, set up the injectables appointment, and to ask about birth control pills so that my cycle won't be 99 days long. When they called her back they told her they want me in for bloodwork today to check my ovaries. I haven't been responding well to the clomid, so they want to make sure my ovaries still work.

Now I'm scared to death. I spent all day yesterday somewhere between teary eyed and full out flipping out. It hurts to breathe, my stomach is in knots, I don't know what to do.

If my ovaries are dead, this is all over isn't it? If this bloodwork comes back bad, then my miracle is squashed.

I wasn't ready to let go of this yet.

Please, let them come back okay.

5 comments:

giggleblue said...

sending hugs and plenty of them!

don't embrace a "maybe" until you have to.

Mrs. Spit said...

Hang in there. sending hugs and wishes for peace.

mulberry said...

deep breaths. many many many women do not respond to clomid. i took it and NOTHING, i mean nothing happened.

let's start with going in so they can look before you make your stomach into macrame :)

you are going to be ok... no matter what, you and jenn will figure out together how to proceed even if there are new things to consider.

sending you deep breaths and lots of love.

dakota said...

I agree with mulberry. There are a number of reasons you may not be responding to C.lomid, not the least of which is that for different cycles at different dosages C.lomid doesn't stimulate.

As much as I hate to admit it, so much of the ttc process is guesswork. I want it to be clear and simple but as we know intimately, it is not and this is not a process for the faint of heart.

You've been through so much, I can certainly understand the move to hit the panic button but this may be protocol bloodwork.
Sending hugs hugs and more hugs.

Gia said...

Your Ovaries are FINE!!! so stop that right now! they may just want to check of cyst.
Ask for Aygestin, this is a wonder drug. Take it from a person who has 101 days long wait of AF this works on time!7days or 5days