And on the Baby Making Front...

All of our ducks are in a row. In a line??? No, it's in a row right? Whichever...we are ready.

Clomid...check
Ovidrel...check
Specimen...being shipped as we speak!
Weightloss...slowly but surely. We are Sweating to the Oldies five nights a week!

Nine more birth control pills to go!

Weather Woes

Saturday night I head home from work amongst sun and blue skies. I think to myself "what a beautiful night it is going to be." Get home and whine to Jenn that someone is grilling outside and it smells simply delicious! Walk upstairs to change into my pjs and hear this strange noise...like a train running through the back yard and then "fwhoomp". You know that sound that the power makes when it goes out and won't be back on for awhile? The fwhoomp is followed by serious whining from Jenn. The wind outside had gone from zero to flying lawn chairs in 2 seconds flat. I went outside just to see the sky and was whacked in the stomach by a piece of flying roof shingle. My hoodie hood went flying back with such force that it caused me to choke a little. I could barely stand in place--picture a V-8 commercial.

Jenn was in total freak out mode. She hates bad weather. Hates may not actually be a strong enough word. The emergency power outage box is sitting on the coffee table as I walk back inside. (Someday I'm going to share all of Jenn's emergency boxes with you, they are fun!!) Candles are lit, flashlights are tested and I begin to whine. See, power outages are the only times I can get her to sit still long enough to play my favorite games. She's always up for regular card games, poker, rummy etc. But ask her to play Uno or Life and she melts away.

Several games of Uno later we realized that our fingers were too cold to hold the cards anymore (we had long ago given up on telling the difference between blue and green by candlelight). I keep our heat at 58 degrees. Just warm enough that I know the pets won't become pet-cicles. Jenn whines she's cold, I throw another blanket at her. Well, when you have no power for several hours, that 58 degrees falls quickly. It got down to 46 in our house. Outside it was 42. We quit game playing and ran for the bed with two comforters to keep us warm. Needless to say about 8 minutes after crawling into be the power came back on. I could have kept playing Uno!!!!!!

Someone was jealous of Jenn and I going to the doctor.

So Thursday night Jenn says aloud to the house "Bedtime". This means that Minnesota (our dog, aka Minne pronounced Mini) and Michigan (our cat aka Igan--pronounced Eeegan) must run around and chase each other because they have to expel their extra energy. The go flying into the dining room and we hear a loud yelp from Minne who comes racing back into the living room on three legs. Now this isn't uncommon. She is part German Shepard and will quite often pop out her knee or her hip.

But when we started to rub her down it didn't appear that either was out of place. Minne is the kind of dog who will only yelp once, and would not even flinch if we were to cut her toes off one by one. Loyalty I guess? So we decide to wait over night and see how she is doing in the morning.

Friday morning she is still being a three legged dog. Call the vet and get an appointment. Take her in and he begins to pinch, poke and prod every inch of her leg. No flinching, no yelping, no nothing. He determines that nothing is broken, his diagnosis is a torn ACL.

If it is only torn partially, it should heal itself in a few weeks. If it is a total tear, she would need surgery to repair it. This cannot be a total tear. She's old and I can't have her going through six months of miserable recovery that will only wear out her other hip and leg. He gave her a cortisone shot and some anti-inflammatory pills and sent us home with instructions of no stairs while unassisted.

She already seems to be doing much better. She will put some pressure on her leg, like just putting her toes down. And yesterday she was following us around the house, where as Friday she just whined huge fits if you left the room. So we have our fingers crossed that she recovers on her own. She has to, the surgery will only do her more harm, and neither of us want to put her through surgery, or a lifetime of pain, that isn't fair to her. But we don't want to make the other decision either.

If it ain't one uterus, it's another.

Jenn had surgery on January 15th that gave her a 72% chance of never having a period again. February 19th, she got her period. It lasted until yesterday. And I can even tell you why it stopped, well duh, because we had a doctor's appointment for today about it.

All in all the doctor says we actually have to wait six months to determine the results of the surgery. This could just be her body getting used to the new way.

Or, it could be because Jenn has an infection in her uterus. Oh fun! (on a related note, those funky cervical cells came back fine with additional testing).

Or, it could be because Jenn is part of the 28% who went through this surgery for no reason.

So moral of the story is, she's on antibiotics, and we are waiting the six months to see what happens, after that...hysterectomy here Jenn comes!

To my dear Anonymous Friend

What you wrote is both true and false:

"I know you hate me writing these comments, but your best friend in life tells you the MOST truth! "

True--my best friend in life does tell me the most truth-Jenn is awesome at that! She doesn't even hesitate to tell me when my jeans do make me look fat! Thank you for pointing that out!

False--I do not hate you writing these comments, I actually find them very interesting. I grew up with a very religious background and love all things religion!! I'm taking a class in school this fall to learn even more. Thank you for sharing your feelings with me about your religion. Reading from your many comments I see that you must be an explicit follower of the bible, and I'd like to remind you that your God asked you not to judge people, so please keep such judgmental comments off my blog. I will gladly publish your comments if you decide to tell me who you are! But Anonymous comments from people other than my mother, are not welcome! Yelling things to me about things I do not believe aren't going to get you any further in heaven, nor will they get me any further into your hell :)

Thank you again for your many comments, I'd love to share more of them with my readers when you are ready to come out of your closet!

Went to a support group last night...

Monday morning I got a cryptic text "Tomorrow is the first Tuesday of the month"

I answered back "I'm not sure what to do with that information"

This resulted in texting all day Monday and most of Tuesday about if Jenn, Lyz and I wanted to go to a Share support group meeting. Monday afternoon it was determined that we would all assume we are going, until someone said no I'm not, and we could all change our mind up to 6:29pm Tuesday (the meeting started at 6:30.)

I never thought I would be the kind of person who went to a support group. I am way too shy to share my story and cry in front of strangers. But peer pressure won, as usual, and I went.

At first I was excited, there was only the three of us, the group leader and three other girls. I got less and less excited as the room filled and there ended up being 14 or 15 people.

I was to shy to share our story, Jenn had to share it for us. In fact I spent the first 20 minutes or so with my hands over my mouth shaking uncontrollably. I had my friend, the water bottle, sitting in front of me and all I could think was "Everyone in this room can see the water in this bottle splashing about because I am shaking so bad." Even though I know that everyone was in their own personal hell and could care less about my water bottle.

Lyz was the first in our threesome to talk (not including introductions). I honestly don't even remember what she said, isn't that awful? I think she was sharing her fear of the pregnant belly. There was a girl who is approaching her due date and Lyz wanted her to know that for Lyz at least, after the due date things get a little easier.

Jenn spoke up after everyone was talking about how the husbands don't seem to care, or are over it. Jenn wanted everyone to know that it is probably not the case. They have to go to work and instead of everyone saying "how are you?" they say "how's the wife?" They have to take a back seat if they like it or not. Men (and Jenn) see it as their role to be the supporter, and that they can't break down or show their hurt because the woman is hurting too much, and they might make that worse. Almost every single woman there came up to Jenn and thanked her for being there and sharing that with them. It made me beam with pride.

I did talk, and again I don't remember what about. I know the first time I opened my mouth both Jenn and Lyz did too in that gaping "Oh my goodness she's speaking" kinda way.

The meetings "end" at 8pm, so that it gives people an escape, but they do encourage you to keep talking to each other if you feel you need support or have support to give. I was filling out a newsletter sign-up sheet and this one girl, couldn't have been 21, was bawling in the corner. I got up and put my arm around her. I asked her if she needed a hug. She nodded and I just held her and let her go for awhile. I felt so bad for her. I whispered in her ear that she was too young to know such pain. I gave her my phone number and let her know that she could call me if ever she needed to talk, or even just a shoulder to silently cry on. I don't think she said a word during the entire meeting, and she just looked so alone. To me, this interaction was more helpful than any other part of the meeting.

At 3am I had a long conversation with myself about how gambling can never really be illegal. Life is nothing but gambling, we don't know the outcome we just jump in and hope and pray for the outcome we desire, the one with the big payoff. It was mentioned that over 100 children are born still at our local hospital every year. I don't think that's the nicest statistic to share with a room full of women who have suffered miscarriages and still births. It kinda freaks me out. So last night at 3am I thought about if the gamble is worth it...either we will lose it all, or we will get the biggest payoff in the world. I am truly hoping for the latter.

Dr. Jenn says I am getting better.

I painted my nails. I haven't done this since sitting at my mom's dining room table at Christmastime. So, I guess I'm making some improvements!