Sunday, August 31, 2008

Spermified

Yesterday was IUI day. On Thursday when Michelle called I asked "Will it be you on Saturday?"

No, I'm sorry. ( I proceeded to curse enough to make a sailor blush after hanging up the phone with her.)

I hate Dr. F. with a flaming passion. Can't stand him. He is a moron and sometimes I really do swear that I know more about this whole process then him.

Yesterday, he gets me up in the stirrups (with my pretty mismatched sockies), puts in the speculum, proceeds to screw it to my inner thigh, ouch!! Then he sprays the cervix with the saline, and cleans it off with the gauze.

THEN HE TAKES THE SPECULUM OUT.

Any idea what's missing in this process?? Um, did the freaking doctor just forget to put the sperm in my uterus????? Seriously??

After wonderful lab tech Amy pointed this out to him he giggled and said "Well in 20 years I've never done that before!"

Maybe Jenn and I make him really nervous because he knows we can't stand him. But seriously, forgetting to put the sperm in may be the dumbest thing I have ever encountered.

And in case you were curious, when he put the speculum back in, he managed to screw it to my inner thigh yet again. Ouch.


*****And to all of you who answered my Contest correctly, not one of you left me your email address. Here's mine--heidimingo at gmail dot com. Email me if you want the prized recipe!!*****

10 comments:

Mrs. Spit said...

Oh crap. He's not delivering the baby is he? (No, he's an RE, right?)

I'm just worried he'd drop it. Maybe have Jenn standing down there?

What an Idiot.

Lizzie said...

Sorry you got the doc you don't like (and that he was such an idiot!!) but glad your'e all spermed up! :)

dakota said...

That is UN-FREAKING-BELIEVABLE!
Thank goodness you didn't leave before this was addressed. Did he at least apologize? Or was his comment all he could muster?

Hoping you don't have to deal with him at this level again.
Fingers and toes crossed for you and Jenn this cycle. xo

mulberry said...

what can i say? that is beyond shocking... i guess when you get pregnant it will be a story of ...and can you believe it honey, you were conceived even though the doctor couldn't figure out how to use the speculum, or where to put the sperm. might have been easier if he had just tossed you two the vial and say, good luck ladies, i think there may be a catheter around here somewhere.

well, as lizzie said, glad the little fellas are in there doing their duty even though they almost got left behind.

JamieD said...

I agree with Mrs. Spit - he can help with conception but don't let him in the delivery room!

Sending you spermy-fertilized thoughts . . .

halfadozen said...

I thought that I would de-lurk to wish you good luck! I was also just spermified (Fri, Sat and Sun)! So I guess we are on the TWW journey together!

Your RE sounds like a total and complete Bozo. And I thought I had the most arrogant ridiculous one. But mine would definately not do anything so stupid... That really takes the cake. Talk about undermining your confidence, eh?

I will keep my fingers super duper crossed for you!

Merr said...

OMG are you serious! What a nerd. What did he think he was doing in there, giving your cervix a cleansing session? Sheesh!

B said...

Thanks to you both for getting us through this weekend. You're the bestest. Happy 2dpo.

Kim said...

Ouch!

What a moron!

Ouch again!

Lots of luck! I've got my fingers crossed you and me both!

The Milk Maid said...

He did WHAT?! Dear lordie my DH can drive one of those things better than some goob with a decade+ of education! OY!

Well, at least it will be a great story to tell your future kiddo- right?