Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Election results followed by My fear of needles.

I was touched last night when an African-American gentleman said that "Now I can look my children in the eye and tell them that yes, they can be anything they want to be."

I heard it again this morning and I realize that statement is wrong. What if one of his children is gay? Then they can't be the one thing I want to be...married (and no, I don't really care what they call it, marriage should be something a church offers you, find a new word for the way the government to recognize as "marriage") . I hope that one of the changes our new President-to-be brings, is a way for me to be able to visit Jenn in the hospital, without bringing my huge folder of legal mumbo-jumbo with me.

This morning Jenn and I hopped in the car to go learn how to give me the PIO-Progesterone-In-Oil (did you know the oil is sesame oil...I didn't) injections. We got a bit down the block and realized it would be quite smart if we drove back home and grabbed the bag of drugs and needles and brought them with us!!

What We Learned Today:
1-My progesterone was 14.7. I was just a hair short of getting away without the PIO, but I'd rather be safe than sorry.
2-I still have to do the suppositories...eww.
3-As Sue (the lab manager/nurse) pulled my needles out of my bag I gasped at how long they were...her response "Hmmmm, these aren't as long as they are supposed to be." Ekke.
4-I now have to blue circles on my buns, to give Jenn target practice for the first few injections.
5-Putting the needle in didn't hurt as bad as I had been imagining.
6-Jenn has to use both thumbs to inject the PIO into me.
7-The above hurts a bit...still not as bad as I thought it would.
8-Taking the needle out hurt a bit, because Jenn was used to much shorter needles.
9-We are going to need to empty our sharps container soon.
10-It hurts more after the shot is done.
11-I should be looking forward to some spectacular bruising...and yes, I will be sharing pictures.


I think the other realization that I came to this morning is that I am really bothered that the one thing I could do, and do well, has now failed. I don't ovulate on my own. I don't have regular cycles. I don't keep babies in for their prescribed 40 weeks. But my progesterone has always been stellar. Not anymore. I don't know why this bothers me so much, but it does.

6 comments:

halfadozen said...

I hope that the PIO does the trick! I am terrified of needles and you are so completely my hero!!! I am thinkg of you lots and hoping that somewhere in those 60 million+ swimmers is the magic of your baby-to be...

Congrats on the new president, BTW. I am celebrating with all you guys on this side of the border...

Travelher and Pufferfish said...

Although I haven't done the PIO shots, I was preparing to do them for IVF. I read alot about how if you massage the area immediately after the shot and then put a heating pad on it--the pain is much less severe.
You might try it--can't hurt more than it already does!
Good luck and don't worry too much about the progesterone levels, it's just extra protection.

B said...

I hope the shots do the trick, and that you're holding your baby very soon.

JamieD said...

I know how you feel. It makes me feel so 'broken.'

I hope the PIO leads you down a happy road!

Ninefirefly said...

Good luck! I know shots suck but hopefully they will yield the desired results!

eggdance said...

You are absolutely right about being able to tell our children that they can be anything they want to be. we still have so much work to do.

You are a shot-getting hero! I have not (yet) had to deal with the progesterone issue, but I am sure that it is in my future.

I think so many things about this process can make us feel inadequate, but you are not inadequate and neither is your body. You are going to get where you want to go. You are.