Update

Michelle called with bloodwork results. Based on my bloodwork it is virtually impossible that I would get a positive tomorrow or Saturday, so trigger Saturday night and IUI Monday morning.

(but keep peeing on sticks just in case!)

I have an ovary that looks like a chocolate chip cookie.

Mmmmm cookies.

Okay, stealing someone else idea here--Cliff notes version: 2-5 follicles, trigger Saturday, IUI Monday...unless something changes.

My lining is 9.5, which I've been told is excellent.

My right ovary is the home to one cute little follicle. I believe she said size is 15.

Then she headed over to my left ovary. Chocolate-chip cookie. Lots and lots of little follicles growing over there. Only 4 worth measuring though. And of those 4, only two that Michelle thinks will be ready to go.

Now for some background info. My last two cycles were screwy. Apparently my body doesn't ovulate right. I'll pee on an opk and it will come back positive, yet all my blood work will say no got, and my follicles are huge. So the cycle we got pg with Blue I got a positive opk and yet my bloodwork said no go. An ultrasound showed that my four follicles were 19 and up. So we triggered that night, and 36 hours later did iui.

So Michelle sits us down to go over "the plan". Plan is that we will trigger Saturday night, do IUI Monday morning (7:45am). But...keep peeing on sticks and if we get a positive call the center. Hey, I'll take any excuse to pee on a stick!! It is my favorite past time after all. They also took some blood to do do my bloodwork to see where it has us at today. So more waiting. It's 2 o'clock now. They said they would call after 2 o'clock.

I'll update later!

Oh...and congrats to B & K and Plump!! Soooo excited for you all!!!

The pee sticks should not be left where I can find them.

I like to panic. It's something I am very good at, so I do it often to remind myself that I am good at something. I am also one of those lucky women who feels her eggies growing, and feels enormous pains when I do ovulate.

I've felt the twingies for several days now that tell me the eggies are growing. This morning, I haven't felt any yet. Uh-oh. Time to panic. Yes, I have an ultrasound tomorrow (now at 10:30am in case you are keeping track). I could just relax and go about my day of nothing (I have a migraine hangover so I'm being lazy with a purpose). But no, I decide that I'll go pee on an ovulation predictor stick and let it weigh in on the panic. I figure, if it's negative, then all is well, if it is positive I can call the RE's office and set operation panic into full swing.

Moron. Yes, it's negative. Blatantly so. Which means that I have now convinced myself that I ovulated so of course it is negative. Much whining has ensued. Much much whining as a matter of fact.

I began to stomp around the house crying. I cleaned the kitchen, I cleaned the dining room (anyone else's dining room table start to look like an archaeologist dig after 48 hours of being clean?). I sit down in the living room to cry some more when...

There's the twingies!! They must have been taking a nap. I think I will too, all that panicking for nothing wore me out.

(And...Congrats to The Anguished Corn and to my friend Lyz who both got wonderful news yesterday!!!!!)

What might have been.

This week really started the what might have beens for me. When we first found out that we were pregnant with Blue I counted in my head how far along I would be at the end of March. I figured 27 weeks is great, I'll have a noticeable belly and all the lil ole ladies at the quilt show will love it! They always ask me "When are you and Jenn gonna have kids??" Sigh.

Last year during the quilt show I helped one of the vendors get an emergency flight home because her husband was dying and she wanted to see him before he passed. She found me on Tuesday and thanked me for my help. I told her that I would have done anything for her in that situation. She didn't make it home in time. He passed away two hours before her flight landed. I told her I was sorry and was a little teary for her. She asked me "Heidi, when are you gonna have babies." Since I was already a little teary for her, the tears just fell right out for me too. I was honest. I told her that I had a beautiful son who was born too soon in January. She held my hand. Then she went and spread the word. I shouldn't have told her. I don't think a single vendor has not come up to hug me, to give their love to Jenn and I, or threaten us not to quit. They all expect happy stories next year.

Me too.

Totally Random

While we were in Florida the batteries inside of Jenn's electric toothbrush died. She didn't want to spend money to buy new batteries, or even a new electric toothbrush. (She was pouty, it was sunburn day, and she's odd, I have no other explanation.) She bought a cheap $.79 non-electric toothbrush.

It hit me yesterday that if she was so worried about not spending money on batteries or a new toothbrush, why didn't she just brush her teeth with the electric toothbrush and do the motions herself??

(Her answer in case you are curious is that it just wouldn't work as well that way. I didn't ask her to elaborate that though, I was too busy laughing-with her....not at her....okay, at her.)

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I'm having a bad week. Between extra life stresses that have been thrown at us this week (well heck, when aren't they anymore??), it's the most stressful week of the year at the hotel. I haven't worked a day less that 11 hours this week, my feet are killing me, oh, and I'm on Clomid. So needless to say I'm either a bawling mess, or sore and crabby and sweating so bad that someone tried to corral me into their sty yesterday.

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Last week I decided to follow Mel's advice and not only read other people's blog (I am such a voyeur), but make sure I am supporting them. I have about 70 blogs that I read on a consistent basis. I decided that I would write a comment for each blog I read. Thankfully not all 70 update at the same time. I also made sure to send support to as many blogs as I could from the Lost and Found each day. Now some days I did great and got my support out to all of my blogs, and most of the Lost and Found.

Then Tuesday came. I haven't commented on a single blog (I lie, I commented on one that truly moved me) I apologize to my dear blog friends out there. It's just a rough spot. I'll be back trying to spread the love again. I am normally quite the optimist. Like to the point of obnoxiousness. But I tell you, this year is killing me!

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(I started with a funny, and I want to end with a funny, so follow me back to Florida)

We have stayed in the same hotel for 4 years now. We pass a billboard every year that has always made me giggle. It's for a dentist. He's holding a chicken. Chickens don't have teeth right? But the billboard says "We treat chickens too."

For 4 years I have driven past that sign and giggled at the irony that chickens don't have teeth but they say they treat them.

This year it hit me. They don't mean chickens the bird. They mean human chickens. Boy, I can be dense sometimes.

EEKKEE

Called the Fertility Center this morning. It's always weird announcing your period.

HI!! This is Heidi Lastname calling. I wanted to scream from the rooftops that today is cycle day 3!!! (Of course it was Jamie who answered the phone, who I don't like, but only because the first time I ever talked to her she was the bearer of bad news...I should probably get over that)

Moral of the story, start the clomid today. Go in for an ultrasound Thursday, April 3, 12 noon.

Eekkee.

I make little rules for myself. Like, the clomid gets taken at 9:30 each morning. It is 9:29 right now. So I took the little white pills out of their blister pack and they are sitting on the desk in front of me, next to my 9am-11am bottle of water. Waiting....waiting....okay. 9:30am.

{pause while my shaky hands deliver the two pills to my mouth. Guzzle water}

Pills have been swallowed. It is official. We are on the TTC train again. No more caffeine. No more late nights partying (ha!! I'm too old for late nights anyhow), no more crack, no more anything that I have ever read about in a study that might be harmful to pregnancy.

Eekkee. No wait. I'll take after one of my "idols" I won't worry about it today. I'll worry about it tomorrow. After all, tomorrow is another day.

Tag-I'm it!

I was tagged by Sara at the egg dance

The Six Word Memoir rules are:

1. Write your own six word memoir.
2. Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like.
3. Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4. Tag six more blogs with links.
5. And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play!

Okay. I did a lot of thinking and here is my answer...

Dreaming of babies, and Martha Stewart.

I tried to find a way to incorporate flamingos, but I don't need to dream about them, they are all over my house!!

I tag....
Isn't it Pretty to Think So?
and
Kim at Mommies to 3 Flowers

Jenn says she'll think about hers!!