Sugarcoated Pain

Nah, not how I'm feeling today, a song I heard last night :)

Chris's football team put on a community concert so we headed out. They had two bands, the first was the Stu Huggins (I think) band that was totally twangie country, which I am not a fan of.

The second was awesome!!! They were called Sugarcoat and did a lot of 80's and 90's cover music (totally my style) and some original songs that I really liked too. They are releasing their first national cd and I just may buy it!

Sugarcoat:

(The guy with a lot of eye makeup and really long hair complimented Jenn's new tattoo and totally made her night)

Avery spent much of the evening trying to convince Jenn to spin her (or make her dizzy). Jenn was actually getting pretty dizzy so she started sitting down after every spinning session. Avery caught on to this and started racing Jenn to the chair!! Tooo cute.

Jenn and Avery getting dizzied:



I'm going to post a video of Avery dancing to the music. It cracks me completely up!!

I am very very VERY angry at Warner Bros. right now.

I look forward to few things in life. They have gone and ruined my winter.

Seriously, THIS made me cry today. Like my friend said, if I didn't want to see it soooooo freaking bad, I would boycott.


And now our local CBS station is not playing Big Brother until 1:37am because of stupid PRESEASON football.

Signed,
Angry and PMSing in Leola, PA

The Plaster Facade

This is a phrase I use often. I keep getting told that I am so strong, so brave, blah blah. Nope. I wear a loverly mask. My perfect little plaster facade. Jenn sees it fall of, she knows when it is cracking and tries to keep me together.

The summer between 6th and 7th grade I got bit by the acting bug. A little odd for me if you know me in real life, as I am super-duper shy. I can't order food over the phone, I can't get my own cotton candy at a concession stand (trust me, there is someone out there laughing about the cotton candy) I'm just super shy. It's the only reason that I wish Jenn was a bit taller, I'd be able to hide behind her better. On a good day I can order my own food from a server in a restaurant. On a really good day the server can even hear me.

Anyway, back to acting. My mom signed me up for a community theater class and we did The Wiz. It was fun, and I was was smitten with being an actress. (In fact one of my favorite pictures ever taken of me was in my makeup and costume for The Wiz.)

In 8th grade theater was one of the electives we could choose, and choose it I did. We did a play called Last Chance High. I even got a major role in it. I played a student teacher named Nina Nolan who tried very hard to get the students of this school to actually want to graduate. I even remember my singing solo word for word.

"Your high school diploma,
you'll want to possess.
That spirit of victory,
achievement and success.
The day that you earn it,
your spirit will lift.
Your high school diploma,
the greatest of gifts."

Over the stage we had hung a big sign that said "Abandon All Hope Ye Who Enter Here." That's how I feel about my uterus at the moment. Hey spermies, don't think you are getting anywhere, there's no hope inside for you!

Anywho, I think it is the caged in actress inside of me helping me keep the facade going. I haven't had a good classic meltdown in quite awhile. (I think the last one I had was the night we saw Dark Knight? But I could be mistaken). I did break down and cry while on the phone with Lyz the other night, but that does not a meltdown make.

I don't really know what the point of all that I just typed, I guess just writing to hear my nails on the keyboard!

I didn't go.

I'm not in a good place emotionally. I couldn't have taken that call telling me no, I'm not pregnant. The stark white pee stick was hard enough to see.

I'm going back to bed now.

Where have you been?

Why haven't you been here reading my every post, hanging on every word I tell you about my symptoms during the second week of the two week wait?? Why haven't you been staring at the pictures of my pee sticks helping me decipher if I'm seeing things there or not?

Oh, cause I haven't updated? Fine, you are forgiven, since that is a very good reason.

So, my symptoms, they have, of course, been a plenty, because you know me, anything could mean I am pregnant.

Pictures of the pee sticks, ain't gonna happen, cause if those imaginary lines I'm seeing are there, they won't transfer to film. Loser lines.

I actually haven't peed on a stick at all today. I'm tired of having to squat and pee in a cup, so I have taken the day off. Tomorrow is my scheduled beta, I can go in anytime from 7:30am-10:00am. I will wake up at 7am and pee on one last stick. If that stick shows me two real lines that I don't have to squint, bend, twist and stand on my head to see, I will go in for bloodwork.

If there is one single solitary line (which I think will be the case).I will turn off the lights and go back to bed.

Pineapple, Egg McMuffins, my fears, and I'm a WINNER!!!

Pineapple and Egg McMuffins.
So...awhile back I read someones blog, don't ask me which one, that the only thing that was different about the cycle she got AND STAYED pregnant was the one where she ate pineapple 0-6dpo and an Egg McMuffin on 7dpo.

Last month I tried it, but failed a little. I missed one night of pineapple consumption, and failed to read the part where it said must be fresh pineapple, and I ate a fake Egg McMuffin. So this month I have done it right. And I have the awful sores on my lips and inside my mouth to prove that I have eaten my weight in pineapple (well not quite my weight, that would be a heck of a lot) and this morning I stopped at MickeyDee's for a real Egg McMuffin.

Which now leads to

My Fears.
I may be convinced that I am pregnant. I can't tell you what makes me think this, but I can tell you that if I am in fact NOT pregnant, I will be horribly crushed. Crushed more than any other negative cycle. Be warned.

I'm a WINNER!!!

The wonderful JamieD at The Therapist is In gave me a wonderful award and I must thank her!! (I have an acceptance speech too, but don't want to bore you all with it, you can catch me tomorrow morning at 6am practicing it again in my mirror if you are interested)

Here is my beautious award:



Part of the winnings given to me is the right to award this to others, seven others as a matter of fact. I read a gazillion blogs and must say it was very difficult to narrow this down to seven. But I've taken a crack at it:

1-TBean at Baby Steps. Her blog often inspires me to be more me. I know that may sound silly, but she says things I wish I could, shares things that I keep burrowed inside, and is just a wonderful comment giver to boot!

2-Gia at Patiently Awaiting "Hope" who has a story similar to mine, but a much more positive attitude.

3-Mulberry and Dakota at wildride43gals who are two wonderful women and I enjoy reading their words!!!

4-Travelher and Pufferfish at Puffer and the Baby Fish-I love to read of their many travels and hope their Baby Fish journey is their best one yet!

5-Giggleblue at Specific Destiny who I've been a quiet reader of, but still get so excited to read her updates!!

6-Lizzie at Two Chicks In Pursuit of a Babe, I can't wait to read your pursuits happy ending!!

7-Sara at the egg dance-Who gave me the most wonderful gift-socks, three of them, which caused a wonderful conversation between my legs at my last IUI. (And no, I don't think the socks were a bribe so that I would award her this)

If you want to pass along the Brilliante Award to some of your favorite blogs, here are the rules that go along with this award:

1. Put the logo on your blog.
2. Add a link to the person who awarded you.
3. Nominate at least seven other blogs.
4. Add links to those blogs on your blog.
5. Leave a message for your nominee on their blog

Today's Installment of Why I Won't Be Pregnant This Cycle

I have a cold. A nice decent one. At first I thought it wasn't that bad, I lived through still going out and having fun and carrying on like I always do (with a box of tissues in hand, can't trust what kind of nasty sandpaper you may find at other locations). Until Sunday morning.

I woke up coughing and hacking and wheezing and with other general sputtering.

Moral of the story is, there is no way I will get pregnant this cycle. All the coughing, sneezing and other nonsense is surely making it too hard for the little eggie to implant!

In other news, Lyz and I made risotto Saturday night for dinner (pregnant Lyz ate hers with potato chips). We were inspired by Chef Ramsey of Hell's Kitchen. I must say it was pretty good!!